When how we feel does not match the expectations and “shoulds” we have set for ourselves it creates friction inside of us.
So we push our feelings down. Our feelings are not okay because we judge them as not okay. JUDGING our feelings, not HAVING feelings, is what creates the sensation of having a tight throat that then starts to feel like depression or something always being “off” and then eating a whole bag of chips.
We get an inkling of how we feel, but then we’re like nah I can’t feel that because I have to keep going. I have to do X,Y,Z. Me feeling this will make someone else uncomfortable, or make me have to DO something that will make me or someone else uncomfortable.
This was me today. I ALWAYS do this when it comes to work and rest.
I was feeling anxious all morning. I then realized it was because I had an expectation for myself that I was not allowed to rest. I was putting pressure on myself to work. And I was really tired and not feeling it. But I was so uncomfortable with just taking the time that I needed today to do things for ME, that I was trying to work on all these different things and nothing was happening.
Then I was like whoa whoa whoa. This discomfort is not coming from how I feel. I just feel tired. The anxiety is coming from the voice in my head telling me “No. That’s not okay. You are not allowed to rest.”
THIS IS WHY WE HAVE ISSUES WITH FOOD. And issues in general. When we STOP JUDGING how we feel and just feel it, it’s not a huge deal. But when we don’t even give ourselves the grace of letting our own feelings be valid, we start compounding the problem.
All that emotional energy has to go somewhere. Pick your poison: food, alcohol, drugs, relationships, work, exercise; that emotion will FIND a way to express itself.
Judging yourself is exhausting. Fighting your feelings is exhausting. Fighting with food is exhausting. Stop fighting. Feel!