Updated: Jun 3
It’s not about the food.
Have you ever fantasized about eating a delicious food
(LOL of course you have, why am I even asking!?)
Like going home after work and breaking into a fresh tub of ice cream? Or waiting for Sunday brunch to finally delight in some deliciousss french toast?
Or dreaming about getting off your diet so you can finally eat a burger and fries?
You know how when you're driving home or to the restaurant there’s this excitement & anticipation of finally having that delicious treat?
It’s SO exciting it kind of feels like your whole body is tense just even thinking about it?
Finally you have that food sitting in front of you.
And you take the first bite.
And it’s amazing.
Then you take another.
And the excitement, the anticipation, the enjoyment is a little bit less.
And before you know it you’ve finished the whole plate.
And your belly might be full… but inside you’re left feeling… actually kind of empty?
Like where did that whole plate of fries even go?
Was it even good?
Yep, this is the classic pattern.
It’s actually NOT about the food.
Ever noticed how the best, most joyous moment in this entire situation is actually the moment right before you take the first bite?
It’s the anticipation.
It’s the anticipation that our desire is about to be fulfilled.
We’re about to actually possess and have the food that’s going to make us sooo happy.
But as soon as you have it you’re like… I feel exactly how I did before except actually maybe plus a bellyache and actually, maybe a little emptier because I THOUGHT those fries were going to fulfill me but... they didn’t.
Which is honestly kind of depressing.
So what happens?
You keep doing it again and again with different food, movies, wine, chocolate, drinks in order to keep getting that brief moment of fulfillment, and everytime you try to fill it with food, it actually leaves you feeling emptier.
So you need more and more to stay filled up.
Let’s go back to that moment before the first bite.
In that moment, it’s like everything in the universe is possible.
It’s almost giddy.
It’s like it’s Christmas morning and you’re about to run downstairs and tear open all the presents.
What if I told you this:
THAT moment. The moment right before you metaphorically open all your gifts, before everything is revealed and you end up sitting on the floor surrounded by gift wrap that has now become trash, that moment BEFORE all that, is the best it’s going to get.
Yes. I said it.
The moment before you’ve even torn open the first shred of paper, and you’re just sitting there in total joy and excitement, THAT moment is the absolute BEST it’s going to get for you.
I know, I know, you’re saying “Whatttt??? How could HAVING the presents not be better?”
It’s not that having the presents isn’t great. It’s just that it’s not going to be as good as the feeling you had before you opened them.
In fact, it’s going to be worse.
Let’s go back to the Christmas morning feeling.
You’re upstairs. Dreaming about presents (or chocolate cake). And when you run down those stairs, the whole world is going to fall into place.
It’s like, when we’re in that fantasizing state, we think that the chocolate cake is about to bring us The Ultimate Satisfaction (I’m creating a new phrase right now so just go with it).
The Ultimate Satisfaction means, it’s going to fix everything.
And where there was longing, desire, unfulfillment, there’s now going to be Ultimate Satisfaction, fulfillment and peace.
That’s what you unconsciously expect that chocolate cake or those presents to do.
Except, no. That’s not going to happen.
Because that’s not what presents or chocolate cake does.
Chocolate cake is simply food that satisfies hunger.
Presents are simply new things that tomorrow become day-old possessions.
Therefore, our expectation that either of these things will bring us The Ultimate Satisfaction is NOT going to be met.
Therefore, we’re going to be left feeling let down.
We’re going to feel that the place that we were hoping to fill with Ultimate Satisfaction by eating the cake is still empty.
And this feeling of emptiness is worse than the feeling of anticipation and excitement that we had before we took the first bite.
You starting to feel me?
Now, what if I told you something else (don’t hate me):
Nothing. NOTHING of the caliber of chocolate cake or presents. Can ever. Will ever. Nor should you EXPECT to ever. Provide The Ultimate Satisfaction.
In order to BE Ultimately Satisfied (I’m loving this new term) you have to make a profound shift which is going to stun you, okay?
The profound shift you have to make is… to realize… that…
the feeling of excitement, desire and expectation that you get before you open the presents…
ISSSSSS THE ULTIMATE SATISFACTION.
Yes. I said it. I know. This is crazy. What are you talking about Eden???
I know this might be disappointing for some of you but just stay with me here.
Just consider for a moment once again, that Christmas morning feeling.
You’re driving home in your car, preparing to launch yourself into the loving arms of the ice cream in the fridge.
Isn’t that feeling freaking amazing???
It’s literally the most exciting feeling in the world.
Like, you’re about to get the THING. The thing you want!!!
You’re about to get it.
Now if you can just hit pause right there.
And now instead of seeing that anticipation as a means to an end, try to see it as the end in
and of itself.
The point is to fully experience that joy and excitement.
The point is to right in that moment, feel the bliss of being open to receiving all the possibilities of the universe.
The amazing feeling of knowing, “I am FINALLY about to get EXACTLY what I want.”
If that feeling right there isn’t the goal, then I don’t know WHAT is.
That feeling IS fulfillment.
That feeling IS resting in the abundance of the universe.
That feeling IS the joy of being able to experience all of the multitudes of sensations of life.
It’s not going to get better than that feeling.
It’s literally just not.
I don’t know how else to put it.
The profound shift you need to make is realizing that that moment IS the joy you’re looking for.
The fulfillment comes from being PRESENT in that moment and REALIZING that the fulfillment is ALREADY there.
You are ALREADY fulfilled.
The extent to which you feel fulfilled, joyful and complete is actually just the extent to which you are present in this exact moment. Cake or no cake.
There is no void.
There is no need for Ultimate Satisfaction because you’re already experiencing it right here in this moment.
Then go eat the cake! Tear open the presents! Just don’t expect The Ultimate Satisfaction to be there.
You get me???
I know this is a lot.
Do you hate this??